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Just a glass of wine right? (Circa 2006)
by Kara-Leah Grant, Musings from the Mat
It was one of those behaviours or activities that started softly, softly, slipping in under the mat and under awareness.
A shared bottle of wine once a week.
A shared bottle of wine twice a week.
A bottle of vodka in the house – a cocktail before dinner four or five times a week, then a glass or two of wine.
Never more than two or three drinks in a night, never every night of the week. But still…
As time went by, this behaviour began to tug at my consciousness. I noticed I was drinking more. That I seemed to want to drink more. That there were times when I didn’t feel like I could say no to a glass of wine at dinner.
Eventually, a desire arose to stop drinking, but my desire to continue was too strong and so I kept drinking.
Now I knew that I was indulging in alcohol not for pleasure’s sake but for avoidance sake. Something was at play, I was using substances again and it wasn’t pretty.
So one night, after another night of wine with dinner, I stopped.
And boy what a difference. I feel clearer. I’m more present. My asana practice has increased. I’m naturally waking up early again, and wanting to get out of bed. I feel healthier. I’m making better food choices.
My early morning yoga practice has naturally resumed – stoked to finally be practicing in the AM after years of home practice, it went by-the-by a couple of months ago. What luxury to again be up early enough to practice yoga!
But I’ve also had to face the issues around intimacy I was avoiding – the very …read more